Looking for humor that’s vein-tastic?
You’ve come to the right place!
Whether you’re a science lover, a Halloween fan, or just in the mood for some witty wordplay, these blood puns will have you laughing until your heart pumps harder.
They’re short, sharp, and sure to keep your spirits flowing. Let’s sink our teeth into them!
Funny Blood Puns
- I’m feeling vein about this joke.
- Don’t artery your feelings hurt.
- That’s clot of fun!
- You’re my type—blood type.
- Stop being so capillarious.
- You’ve got plasma-nificent energy.
- That pun really circulates.
- Let’s not hem-ogoblin around.
- No need to pressure me—it’s blood pressure.
- I’m o-positive you’ll love this.
- It’s in my DNA to bleed humor.
- Stop hematoma-tizing the story.
- You really pump me up.
- That’s heart and soul-fully funny.
- Just vein and simple.
Halloween Blood Puns
- Vampires are fang-tastic donors.
- Blood is their life fluid—literally.
- I’m a sucker for spooky puns.
- Coffin up some plasma?
- That joke bites back.
- Don’t stake it too seriously.
- I’ve got a bloody good sense of humor.
- Dracula loves type O—O, yes he does.
- Nosferatu more jokes, please.
- Halloween veins are boo-tiful.
- Keep calm and fang on.
- That pun was to-die-for.
- I’m grave-fully laughing.
- Ghosts say boo, vampires say blood.
- Scarily vein-tastic.
Vampire Blood Puns
- I vamp to conclusions too quickly.
- I find you un-bite-ably funny.
- Don’t bat an eyelid, it’s just blood.
- A little bite goes a long way.
- Bloody brilliant, Count me in.
- Vampires have a thirst for puns.
- Just vein and fanged.
- Love at first bite.
- That pun really sucks—in a good way.
- Keep calm and don’t reflect.
- You’re looking pale but punny.
- O-negative? More like O-nice.
- Sharp humor runs deep.
- Bite-sized comedy.
- I’m fang-ful for this moment.
Medical Blood Puns
- Lab results say you’re pun-positive.
- Don’t clot my style.
- Keep your humor in circulation.
- This joke is in rare condition.
- You’ve got artery-level confidence.
- Nurse, I need a pun transfusion.
- Doctor, my humor is pumping strong.
- Your plasma is class-ma.
- This joke is a vital sign.
- Humor keeps the pressure down.
- It’s a blood test of wit.
- You’re platelet-ing me laugh.
- Just a drop of fun.
- Type funny, not type A.
- Humor flows in my veins.
Spooky Blood Puns
- That’s fright-clot funny.
- Bone-chilling but bleeding hilarious.
- Hemogoblins haunt my humor.
- A bloody scream of laughter.
- The grave circulates rumors.
- Bleed it or not.
- Fang you very much.
- Hemoghostly jokes are the best.
- This humor slays.
- Gory but giggly.
- Jokes with bite.
- Dead serious about blood.
- Creepy but vein-tastic.
- Spilling laughs, not blood.
- Skele-fun with plasma.
Creepy Blood Puns
- That’s a chilling circulation.
- A clot of nightmares.
- Oozing with humor.
- A gory good time.
- The humor runs red.
- Slay the laughter.
- A drop-dead joke.
- Macabre but merry.
- Sanguine with silliness.
- Arteries of darkness.
- Horror is in my veins.
- Blood-curdling comedy.
- Dark humor flows freely.
- Fang-filled fright.
- Guts and giggles.
Cute Blood Puns
- You’re my type O-sweetheart.
- Blood you forever.
- I vein you so much.
- You make my heart pump.
- Plasma hugs to you.
- I clot you not—I adore you.
- You vein the world to me.
- O-positive vibes only.
- You’re artery-ly amazing.
- Capillary cuddles.
- Circulating love your way.
- Hemoglove you always.
- My heart bleeds for you.
- You’re transfusionally perfect.
- Just a drop of cuteness.
Dark Humor Blood Puns
- That joke was bloody dreadful.
- Veins full of sarcasm.
- I’m bleeding humor dry.
- Dark humor flows best.
- Hemoglobin’t stop laughing.
- Arteries of irony.
- Dead serious comedy.
- Bleed me dry of jokes.
- Curdled humor only.
- That’s vein but true.
- Plasma-d with sarcasm.
- Drop dead laughter.
- Casket full of puns.
- Gallows humor is in my blood.
- O-negative attitude.
Conclusion
There you have it—over a hundred blood puns that will keep your humor flowing!
Whether you’re into vampires, Halloween scares, or just light-hearted vein jokes, these puns are bound to make you smile.
Share them with friends, keep them for parties, or just enjoy them whenever you need a laugh. After all, good humor is in our blood!
Swaan was born in Cambridge, the eldest of three children of pathologist Meredith Blake Robson Swaan and his wife, Marjorie Dykes.
Swaan was educated at King’s College School, Cambridge, and then at Winchester College, a boarding independent school for boys in the city of Winchester in Hampshire, where he was an exhibitioner. He then studied zoology at Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge, where he graduated MA and PhD.
